I didn’t want to get stuck with my previous journal on the main page, since it was a bit ‘depressive’, and I'm usually a cynical make-fun-of-everything type of person… Thus, I have decided for a series of my old ‘quotebook lines’. After all, I did miss them, and =WildRainOfIceAndFire has also given it up lately… It’s gotta be up to me to keep tradition.

Kid Naty (~AlchemyOfChoice) asks Vanilla at some random moment:
‘Are you high?’
‘Do you drink water during the day?’
‘Huh? Is that a trick question?’
‘If you do, how can you ask me if I’m high?’

Me to Naty over the phone today:
‘Get your ass online now. I’ve taken a new shot and I need your opinion on whether I look better with or without my head.’.
It was voted for without…

Me to my brother:
‘I need a rat. You know, biiig rat. Type that’s as big as a cat.’
‘How bad do you need it?’
‘Hmm… Idea is pretty good… I’d say I want it pretty bad.’
‘Goodie then. Grab an overhaul and allow me to point you in the direction of the sewers.’
That’s quality help right there…

Me to one of my mother’s work colleagues (female), at mom’s house, after 5 glasses of gin and hours of dire boredom:
‘Hi. I’m Alex.. Uuuh. You look gooood!’ *grabs her mother’s 400D* ‘Wanna get naked for me?’
It was worth a shot…

Big biker dude from Timişoara to me:
‘Where are you from?’
‘Bucharest. But I also have qualities.’
And it was this line that got me and kid Naty free living arrangements in Timişoara…

A friend to me:
‘Your hair smells nice. What shampoo do you use?’
‘Actually… what you’re smelling is Irish Cream, somebody spilled some on my head last night. Don’t ask.’

Some guy, at a get-drunk-party, to me, while I couldn’t stop touching his long gorgeous hair:
‘I really like you.’
‘It’s OK. Most men do, until they get to know me. Give it a little time. You’ll get over it without me actually having to go through the speech of turning you down.’

Mom and I:
‘Nude? What nude? What do I have to do? I’m not holding any rats.’
‘If you’ll stop sniffing me for a second, you could actually hear me repeat that idea.’
‘Is that Nina Ricci or Chanel?’
‘Chanel. Now, as I was saying, you will sit on…’
‘Uuuh! I got a Chanel for Christmas!’
‘Mom. Could we please change the subject and get back to my picture? This mother-daughter resemblance thing is waaay too emotional for me. I might burst into tears.’
‘I also got a nice orange tree for Christmas! Wanna see it?’
I find it best to let people get this kind of stuff off their chest, and then try reasoning with them…

Me to big dude at a biker’s party, sometime last summer:
‘You fuckin’ animal. Get your hand out of my throat. The most that will do is make me wanna get naked. Let’s argue like civilized adults, shall we?’
If talking won’t get me out of trouble, running sure won’t, a snail runs faster then I do.

And speaking of masochism:
‘Hand me that rope over there, I need to tie this l…’
‘Rope?! Where? What?’ *interested face*
‘Oh nevermind you twisted fuck. I can’t work with you. Here. Have at this bottle of wine and get to your other pleasure, getting drunk. While I work instead.’
‘Sure. But that will only make the previous thing worse.’

Me to my Russian drinking friend (on YM):
‘Wanna get high?’
‘I’m already high.’
‘Oook... Wanna get higher? With me?’
‘Suuure! Why didn’t you say so? I’ll be at you place in 30.’

Naty to me:
'I suck? You suck!'
'In my spare time...'

Hope you enjoy reading them at least half as much as I enjoyed living them.

P.S.: I absolutely adore [link] .